Week 8 Growth Mindset

I do the minimum, and often less than that, especially when it is something I do not enjoy, or when something does not meet my expectations. I can't seem to find the energy, motivation, or time to push myself further. I feel like I am struggling to survive. My dislike of the system of grading discourages me from focusing on learning. Instead of enjoying learning, I am beating myself up over grades. My short term view and long term view never seem to coincide. I try to set goals for myself, but I feel like the people who are really in charge of my time are my boss, teachers and classes, and my parents. At the end of the day, I have no time to pursue something meaningful to myself. I took a risk by going out on a limb and taking a class that I thought would be good for me. I ended up having to drop the class, and I'm still struggling with my studies. I love learning, but I'm not good at school. I guess I'm doing what's easy, at least that's what I feel like I'm supposed to say, even though it feels like what I'm doing is very hard. I've always been pretty good at doing things right the first, second or third time, so I get frustrated when I struggle with things. I always wait until the last minute because it seems that I can't find time to live a healthy life and complete tasks ahead of time. I am always anxious about everything I have to do because I do not have confidence that I can get it done in time. If I get it done in time, it is never my best work and that is disappointing. I am a perfectionist, and, as a result, I never finish anything because I get frustrated. I'm seeing my friends and family less and less, and not by choice. I hate my ideas and I hate my writing.
As for positives, I am being more mindful of how I treat others and I am trying to be the best person I can. I am doing very well in two classes, one of which I care deeply about. I am becoming a resource to others when they need help. I am very confident in my technical ability when it comes to production and post-production. I'm trying hard to find the positives in each day, especially when I'm unhappy.
I guess all I can do is keep going.

I would like to enjoy learning again. Photo found on Laura's Growth Mindset Memes Blog, here.

Growth Mindset

I had not heard of Carol Dweck nor the concept of Growth Mindset before this week. I have, however, had similar discussions with my father about education systems and the way we reward students. I tend to struggle with a fixed mindset. School was very easy for me for most of my life, and when I began struggling with new concepts, I felt stupid if I did not understand something immediately. It really started to affect me very negatively, so much so that I was often quite unhappy with myself. I think what I started to focus my energy on is the idea that it is alright, even good, to be wrong. Being wrong presents an opportunity to learn and improve, which is something we should always want to do. I like that Carol extends the definition of growth mindset beyond the classroom, and into relationships and personal life. This is a neat concept, and I hope it motivates me to change some habits. Something that I am focusing on is the concept of happiness. I like to ask myself, "am I happy?" and, "am I bringing happiness to others?". These questions help remind me that there is very little that I can control, and that everything is going to be alright. 

This image speaks directly to me. Rest is vital to maintaining a positive mindset. Found on Laura Gibbs' Growth Mindset Meme Page.